Chattehbox's Xanga

Borrrrrrrred.

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 16:05:49 GMT

I am so bored,

been clubbing!

Twas gurrd!

Michelle xo

Hunger pang

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 20:31:26 GMT

Intake :-

Cup of tea
Cup of soup
Grapes
Sunny Delight drink.
Stew & Garlic bread.

Although I am ~~starving.~~

Might have a little something In a bit.
Idk.

Michelle Xo

Friday, December 21, 2007

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 23:21:47 GMT

Nan...I am missing you lots..Just listening to your funeral song..I know I shouldn't but I cant help it.
Its so weird your gone..I need you here..Just one more time..And your never going to be there again..
My heads so messed up or something..I just feel really weird .. Not emmotional..but wanting to be..I dont know I just feel really weird and theres no reason to..I am just swining to one mood and finding it harder to pull out of one each time. Once again i do not get me at all.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 23:36:26 GMT

I dont get me.

R.I.P

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 04:10:18 GMT

I feel terrible.
My mums a wreck..I mean theres nothing I can do..I am uncomfortable with the situation, I feel terrible because I am fine? Why am I fine its my nan..and shes never coming back ever..I have tears in my eyes now..But like when something distracts me,, I forget.. her body will be at my house and I am scared..I mean I dont know I just cant accept it and I feel terrible because I am not like my mum..she says she feels like somebodys got a hover and sucked her insides out..And I feel completely normal.

Am I right to be this way? When her body is here..I am scared and I dont know why..I mean I have never seen a dead body..But its my nans body..And I am just so confused I mean shes hasn't been in the right frame of mind for years..but she always remembers who I am. And I liked that.

The comfort is that shes with my grandad now.. But I still cant accept whats going on..it feels surreal. I am so confused.

Sorry to go on about it. But I feel like a fake..I can still laugh and joke but why? I know people say she would want you to be that way but how do they no? If I died I'd be upset if somebody who I loved weren't mourning

And I want to be there for my mum but I cant..Grieving is something I feel you do alone..and I just get uncomfortable with it all. I feel like I am attention seeking here but I am really not. I cant sleep now because I feel so terrible.

Michelle
xo

FAT.

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 09:26:39 GMT

GR I AM JUST A BIG FAT LUMP.
WITH NO POINT IN LIFE..
Its like grrr I have fat everywhere!!
at first I ddn't mind cause I have boobs..
But now =@

I hateHateHATE it!! Like I look at stick thin people and think
"I'll never be so luck"
I pitty annorexics, But I also Envy them!
How do they do it..I get so hungry, ALL the time!!
I just want to lose weight :(

I get my hair done today :]
BUT MY NOSE STUD WONT GO IN MY NOSE GR:@
I had a spot like right behind it so my mum told me to squeese it..so i did last night and this morning I took the stud out to blow my nose and it wont go back in..and the spot looks all fleshy its discuisting BUT I WANT MY NOSE STUD IN MY NOSE GR:@:@:@

Michelle
xo

=]

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 01:43:36 GMT

Gah Its so boring! Natalie & Roxy && Debi was here today ..And yesterday =]
Its nice to have them around again.
I am really mad with my other friend Natalie..But its kinda sad to have lost a friend..
I mean we have known each other for years..and now. Nothing :|
Kinda Tradgic.

Movvvving Onn;;Nothing Much to update really..
Nat and that have been round had a giggle.
Used my credit card for the first time =D yeeey.
Haha HOPEFULLY I will be getting my hair donee soon woop.~
But life is boring right now. Le sigh.

Michelle
xo

gr

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 22:53:55 GMT

Natalie what a lying fucking bitch she is. Omg I am so fuming with her! who the fuck does she think she is texting me :-

"Do me a fav stop givin dan's number out a fuckin mean it michelle! An tell ya dick head of a brother to keep a fucking way from me"
&& then :-
"U want 2 smash my head in ya no were i fuckin live ill b in all day 2moz feel free 2 come on down"

WTF??? I never said a word to her I am not scared of her the stupid bitch shes with some lad from college..got with him about 2 weeks ago split up with chris around that time. slut!
Who the fuck does she think she is texting me that. Saying ur pregnant to my brothers one thing..and saying shes had a abortion. shes a fucking lying bitch omg I hate her so much!!!

Michelle
xo

Food.

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 03:30:20 GMT

Yesterday I ate :-
Half a egg mcmuffin
Ice cream of the ice cream man
Slice of chicken
A piece of quiche
&& some doritoes.

I also drank some cola on both days so not too healthy really :/

Today I ate :-
Lolly Ice
Some Triffle
A mini Pizza

And I've lost 16pounds :| I am going to try cut down & cut out to lose another 24pounds.

Michelle
xo

How dare you!!!

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 01:48:07 GMT

I am so gutted right now. I have been loyally coming here every friday/saturday for nearly 2 years for my nan to turn round and say she doesn't think I love my own dad. How the hell does she know I am so angry right now I just feel like crying..I mean does he think this? Maybe he does I cant exactly talk to anybody about this because it'd just cause trouble. Wtf I just dont know. like and she says she turned on ME from then =/
[[basically my mum got a fella and i loved him to bits]]
And I said well why do you talk to me then? and she said because I have to!!
And I am so gutted I mean.I thought this was all real and its not..And shes talking to me as though nothings happened.

Michelle
xo